I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
