I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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