it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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