Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
