I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
