I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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