drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
