I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He did a backflip because drugs
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