Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
