We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You may now shotgun with the bride
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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