and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
