Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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