Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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