this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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