weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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