I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
