mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
