I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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