i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
