dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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