So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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