My room smells like vodka and shame
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
