Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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