So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
