Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
