we made out on top of his cat.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
