You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just blew my weed a kiss
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
