It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
