margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
