so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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