Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
