So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
