I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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