i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize