Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
