my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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