I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
