i will never coherently bang her
The beer is more important than you right now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
