Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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