coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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