Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
