Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
