btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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