At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
