I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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