I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
