how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
