we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
