the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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