I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
