I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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