My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
