My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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