let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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