What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you win again, gameday.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
