every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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