Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
