Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
