She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
