Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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