How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
