If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
