I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
