This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
